and ask, “How are you managing in the absence of your wife? Who is
cooking for you?" I would tell her, “I'm managing. I get to buy food
when I'm coming home from work. It's not that bad." She would then
say, “You know this outside food and its complications. It's better you
eat from home."
So one weekend she called to ask if I was home and I said yes.
Minutes later she was knocking on my door. I was surprised when I
saw her. She said, “Let me cook something for you. I can help clean
around too." I let her in and a few minutes later, food was on the
table. House was as cleaned as my wife did. While I was eating, she
was at the bathroom doing laundry. Honestly, I didn't know I needed
such help until she came around. When she was leaving, I tried to
give her money and she rejected it. She said, “Don't embarrass me.
How can I accept money for something I did freely from my heart?
Call me when you need me."
So the next weekend I called her and she came. The following
weekend too, I did call her and she came. Then she started coming
around on weekdays too. After work, I'll pass by her end and bring
her home. Something knocked something one of those evenings and
we found ourselves in bed. She spent the night there and spent many
other nights in the subsequent days. We didn't talk about who we
had become but it was obvious. She accepted her role as the side
chick and I also accepted my role in her life.
Things were moving smoothly until my wife returned. She made me
promise her that I wouldn't leave her when my wife comes and I did.
But then when my wife came, it became very difficult to talk to her or
see her. I was frank about it. I told her, “When she's around and you
call, I can't pick and I can't call back because she'll ask who I'm
talking to and I wouldn't have answers.” She said, “Then you'll have
to find a way. You're the man and we are two people in your life now
so you have to find a way to satisfy us both.” I asked, "How?" She
answered, “It's all up to you. You have to decide on what to do."
My wife's head would be on my lap at night and this girl would be
calling me. If I didn't pick, my wife would suspect something. So I'll
pick and say something random and hang up. That got her more
infuriated. She'll send a text calling me all sorts of names. I didn't
mind. It got to a point I had to put my phone on a plane mode
whenever I was home so she wouldn't call. The thing became too
much for me so I met her one day to bring finality to the relationship. I
said, “I can't continue. You demand so much from me that I can't keep
up so let's call it quit and go our separate ways."
She said, “No, that can't happen. We just started. You and I knew
what we were getting ourselves into before we did. So please don't
start." Then she said, "My menses had delayed for three days. It
better not be what I'm suspecting." I asked, “Are you serious? Since
when and why didn't you tell me?" I didn't know what I was even
saying but I knew I was in trouble and had to play fast.
I called her every morning and evening, asking how she was feeling.
She said, “I'm enjoying this kind of attention you give me recently. So
why didn't you do this all this while? Huh?" In my mind, I was doing
all that to calm her down. I wanted to put her at ease to know
whether or not she was indeed pregnant. One week later she said it
still hasn't come. I asked her to do a test. I ended up paying Ghc1000
before she did that test. She said, “It's positive." I said, “Show me the
positive test kit." She asked, "What do you need it for? Are you a
doctor?" I said, “But how will I know if it's true?” She said, “I don't
care whether you believe it or not. Nine months is not far from here.
We would see the results.
I was tempted to think she was lying but pregnancy isn't something
you assume it's a lie. So I had to keep pampering her to be able to get
what I wanted. I continued calling her every morning and evening.
Listening to her when she didn't have anything sensible to say. I
asked what we were going to do about the pregnancy and he said,
“There's nothing to do. I'm happy to be the one to give you the first
child.” My heart. I wish I could punch her through the phone but my
fingers were in her mouth so I couldn't hit her on the head.
The next morning, I went to see her. I put on my persuasive cup, tried
all I could to get her to understand me. I said, “If you give birth for
me, it would be very difficult for you to marry. How many men like to
stay with a woman who already has a child? Think about it and think
about the future. I'm here for you. I won't go anywhere if we get rid of
this. Giving birth doesn't change anything. I can come for the kid and
that would be the end. Let's do the right thing." She said, “Ok, so
what do we have to do?"
She called the next day asking for GHC2,000. I asked, "What for?”
She said, “That's how much I need.” For peace to prevail, I sent it."
Three days later, she said, “There were complications, so send
Ghc1000. I said I didn't have money. She said, “Maybe you don't want
us to do it.” I asked, "What did you use the first money for?” This girl
continued stressing my life until one day she told me she was never
pregnant but she wanted to teach me a lesson I will never forget.
I should have been angry but I wasn't. Knowing that the whole thing
was a charade was such a big relief for me. I told her, “Thank you for
the lessons but the next time you get closer to me, I'll cause your
arrest. I don't care what happens afterward so don't try me.” One day
she called, "If you don't send me money, I'll send screenshots to your
wife on Facebook.” I said, “If you need her number, I'll give it to you.
That would make it easier." I didn't hear from her again.
One day, I was at the mall with my wife when I saw her holding
hands with a guy at the Shoprite. She kept staring at us. I pretended I
didn't know she was around. That was the last time I saw her. The
trouble she took me through, I told myself, “Never in my life would I
do such a thing again." When my wife travels, I cook my own food.
Mostly it turns out badly but I eat it with no one so who cares. I do
my own washing and cleaning. So far so good. I'm still alive. No man
ever died because he didn't have a side chick.
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